My Therapy Wall

I'm sitting here at my desk in my bedroom not wanting to do my homework, so I'm taking a break (before I even start, haha) to jot down some thoughts about some notes I have posted next to me. They're both from therapy. I hope that they make a difference to someone.

This quote is posted to my left. 

This piece of paper has obviously been through the ringer. It's done a stint in my car, as a bookmark, and now as wall "art." If you can't read past the oil stain, whatever that yellow mark is, and other pen scribbles, it says, "Character is the ability to carry out a worthy decision after the emotion of making the decision has passed." I don't know who originally said this, but I wrote it down during a therapy session with my therapist Darren. Maybe he should be credited with the quote, but I don't know... Regardless, it's stuck with me when I don't want to train for races, or open up another textbook for school, or a hundred other things that are hard to do!

More inspiration is this copy of the inside cover of a book called "The Four Agreements." 

My most recent therapist Kim gave it to me. These are SO much harder to apply in my life than Darren's advice. I struggle with the agreements "Don't make assumptions" and "Don't take anything personally" very deeply. I make assumptions about people's motives, and I take everything personally, including everything people say AND what people don't say (such a win-win situation for everyone, amirite?). I think I will make this my mantra for the next little while, and hopefully I will get better at it. You can see my notes at the bottom of the page: "Step back. 'This is not mine. This is your responsibility/ burden. I'm giving it back to you.'" I can see how I could use this in so many areas in my life. I'll work on it.

On a related note, another handwritten note on the back of that same page says, "Perfectionism is a symptom of being over-accountable." I've written and rewritten this paragraph about three or four times, which if that doesn't prove Kim's point about me being a perfectionist, I don't know what will.  I've been pretty open on my other posts about my imperfections, but suffice it to say that trying to be perfect manifested itself by me taking on too much work, and it was taking a toll on my mental health. 

Anyhoo... this is kind of a hot mess of a post, but it's been a long time since I've written anything and that's what was on my mind. Basically, therapy is awesome and I've learned some things that are helpful to me, and maybe they might be helpful to you.