Green

My favorite color is blue. When given the choice of similar items where one is any shade of blue versus any other shade of any other color, I usually pick blue. My favorite days are sunny ones with blue skies. My favorite places are usually places I can either sit and stare at turquoise water, or swim in it. When I bought myself a car a couple years ago, the only cars I considered purchasing were the blue ones. I would probably be okay if my entire wardrobe was blue, especially navy blue. Some people feel the most like themselves when they wear black, with the oft repeated sentiment that it matches their soul. Somehow, my soul is blue. 

Oregon has made me reconsider. Walking through forests that glow with all different shades of green might do that to you, too. Green is everywhere here. It's in everything and it covers everything, from the fields of clover, to the trees covered in lichen, to the mossy rocks in the rivers. Green is the color of life, as cliche as that thought is. Even out of the death and decay of old, fallen trees, new, green growth sprouts. As I've hiked the trails here, it's no exaggeration to say that I've been awestruck with the feeling of green: vibrant, rejuvinating, hopeful, and alive. 

I left Utah a few months ago feeling pretty terrible. The green of Oregon has been a much needed balm for my wounds. That was really the whole point of moving away from Utah, to get a little peace and perspective. I was so angry all the time there, and I just needed to do something- anything- different. 

Don't get me wrong, I still feel lonely, angry, and bitter sometimes. Dating is still awful here; the only difference is that now it includes even more emotionally unavailable, non-monogamous, "420 friendly" commitment-phobes who don't know what they want out of their life, but are sure that what the world needs is more brands of organic, vegan beard oil... Oops, did I just let my bitterness show? I'm working on it, *I swear*.

Anyway, it's harder to feel hopeless when I'm hiking, watching squirrels run up and down their mossy playgrounds, and listening to the roar of giant waterfalls. It's a good reminder that there is more to life than seeking companionship of a significant other.

My contract at the hospital in Springfield ended a couple weeks ago. Next week I'm moving to Berkeley, California to start a new contract. I'll be there for 13 weeks. Of course there's the excitment of moving and starting a new job, but I already miss Oregon. I'll probably be back. I need more green in my life.