Monday, February 10, 2014

Aliens In My Ears Are Nothing Compared To Surgery

In October 2012, I wrote a blog post about irrational fears from my childhood, which included aliens somehow entering my body through my ears. There's a perfectly legit explanation for this fear, which you can read by clicking on this link. However, in preparing for the surgery on Wednesday, I've run into a few more fears, irrational or not, that I was hoping that I'd never have to face.

Mostly they have to do with anesthesia and recovery. Here's a couple of other stories that terrify me (these are not bedtime stories):

A perfectly normal woman goes into surgery for a hip replacement. She comes out not as a woman, but basically a 70 year old baby, who babbles gibberish, soils her pants, and cries all day.

Another perfectly normal young woman goes into surgery. There's something missing from the anesthesia. She's completely paralyzed, but she's conscious, so she can't move, or open her eyes, or talk, but she can feel the whole surgery.

It's the stuff of nightmares. My nightmares. *Shudder*

I really don't want these things to happen to me. I talked to my aunt and my cousin, who eased me fears a bit. "Thank heaven for modern medicine! You'll feel like you blinked and then you'll go home and sleep and people will pamper you and spoil you rotten." (This isn't verbatim, of course.) But I can't help but be terrified of the risks, because I know they happen.

Comfort me, people.

As a side note, I've realized that I'm very bossy online. Who knew?