Thursday, June 13, 2013

Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame!!! :)

Yesterday some of the residents at work and I were swapping jokes. I want to share some of my favorites:

What's brown and sticky?
A stick.

What do you call a fish with no "eyes?"
Fsh.

Where does a general put his armies?
In his sleevies.

A blind man walks into a store with his seeing eye dog. A worker sees him and starts walking over to him to see if he can help with anything. Then the blind man picks up the dog by the tail and starts swinging him around. The worker runs over and says, "What are you doing?!" The blind man says, "Oh, I'm just looking."

A pan of muffins was in the oven. One muffin turned to another and said, "Man, is it getting hot in here to you?" And the other muffin says, "Aaaaaaaaaaaaah!!! A talking muffin!"

I Still Hate eHarmony

I have a dear friend who convinced me to yet again try online dating. "It'll be fun! We'll do it together!" That should have been a red flag. How do you do online dating "together?" Well, I gave in yesterday after receiving an email from eHarmony saying that I'd been "nudged" by someone who had seen my old profile. Okay, Logan from Lindon, I thought. You want a piece of this? Let's see what you got.

Less than 24 hours later, I was crying because of that stupid website. More like stupid Logan from Lindon.

If I had the guts, I would write him an email that would go like this:

"Logan from Lindon,
A couple times so far you've said that excessive weight is a deal breaker; why, then, are you still writing to me? Do you not see my pictures? I try to put pictures up where it's obvious that I'm overweight so I'm not embarrassed when I think someone is worth getting to know and then have them turn me down because of my weight. I'm worth getting to know: I'm kind, I love my family, I have a job that I love and that I know is doing some good in the world, I think life and the world and every person on it is amazing. I have served in the church faithfully as a missionary and in various other callings. I'm talented, emotionally stable, independent, deeply compassionate, and unfailingly optimistic.

 So please, in the future, if weight is such an issue for you that you can't see all of that in me or in others, don't write to the overweight girls. You are wasting your time and mine.

Erin from Provo"

Maybe I will put that on my profile instead. You know, so I can be sure to scare everyone off before they ever even talk to me!

I'm not saying that my weight isn't an issue in terms of my health, but I'm tired of it hindering other people from getting to know me. I am not a second-rate person because of my weight, and I'm tired of feeling that way, especially when it comes to dating. I have a lot to offer someone in a relationship. One thing is for sure: Logan from Lindon will definitely not be getting a piece of this.

                                         The most recent picture of me