When I get home from 8 hours of changing adult diapers, cleaning up
vomit, walking around in wet shoes because I just showered 3 other
people, and smiling even though in my head I'm screaming, I'm sweaty,
tired, emotionally drained, and my feet kill me. The only thing I want
to do is to sit on the couch and not move or think or talk to anyone for
the rest of the day. But I think to myself, "Hey, if I take a shower
tonight, I won't have to do it early in the morning, and I can sleep in
longer." (Not to mention the fact, of course, that I'm crawling with old
people germs.) Then, when I wake up after those 7 hours and 20 extra
minutes, I take a moment to thank my past self for doing me such a huge
favor.
When I take a minute to put a couple extra rolls of toilet
paper in the bathroom cupboard, I know my future self is really going to say
thank you. And, come to think of it, so will my roommate's future self
(although probably not out loud).
When I put gas in my
car before it hits empty, I know my future self will drive down the road
without wondering whether or not she's going to have to call her aunt
and uncle to come rescue her (not that I know this from experience, of
course!).
When I pay my bills so I'm ahead in payments, I know my future self is REALLY going to appreciate it!
For
a couple of days, I've been thinking about this concept of doing things
for my future self. As in, my future self is a totally different person
and not the me that I will be later. If that makes any sense. Anyhoo,
let me back up first.
I've never really admitted this
before a couple of days ago, or even realized this about myself, but I
think my biggest fear is of getting old. For the past two years I've
been working with people with Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, cancer,
diabetes, heart disease, etc... Is it necessary to say that these are
scary diseases and that I don't want them? My plan was to live until I
saw a grandchild or two, and then peacefully die in my sleep somehow
when I'm like 60. Make that 55. I don't know, just sometime before I
start having major health issues, whenever that will be. My line of work
makes my outlook on the future look pretty bleak. (To clarify, not just
my future; yours, too.)
Then I saw a video that
put my fears on a list. A very scary list: the 16 leading causes of
death [in the United States]. The majority of things on that list are
very slow, sad, and painful ways to die.
Just imagine
for a second that you're afraid of snakes and spiders and heights. For
some of you, that might not be too hard to imagine. Now just imagine
that someone gives you a box, and you open it up, and TA DAH! There's a
bunch of spiders and snakes inside. Then you look up and you realize
that you're bungee jumping off a cliff. That's what this list was: a box
full of snakes and spiders and heights, handed right to me.
Luckily,
the video is a doctor's presentation of how these diseases can be
slowed, reversed, or ideally, even prevented. "How?" you probably didn't
ask? Well, let me tell you! It's really simple. Stop eating animal
products. Like, now. And yes, that includes __________ and ___________
and ____________, whatever you think is delicious and couldn't bear to
give up. Ice cream, yogurt, steak, tuna fish sandwiches. Yes. If it came
from an animal, then yes. If you want to watch the video, click RIGHT HERE. I promise it's worth your time.
The purpose of this post isn't to convince you to be vegan. Or even to be vegetarian. I really just want to explain why I am
giving this a try. For now, go back to the snakes and spiders and
heights. If someone told you that the box of creepy crawly things would
disappear (or maybe just leave one or two) if you would just stop eating
meat, would you do it? You wouldn't have to deal with those icky things
any more. Ever. Would you do it?
Okay, I know I'm
taking the analogy too far. My point is that in the past couple weeks of
being "vegan," I've felt like I have a shot at a better future. (I have
to add the side note that there are two things weirding me out about
all of this: one, that I'm so okay with it, when all other diets or
anything I've tried have been a fight; and two, applying the label of
"vegan" to myself. That just feels weird.) I feel hope that I might grow
old without my mind or capabilities diminishing. If that means giving
up cheese or bacon, so be it. I can see my future self, surrounded by lots of grandbabies and great grandbabies, thinking back to her 28 year old self, and just being grateful for her choices.
