Apocalypse Update

This picture pretty much sums it all up:

Happy Apocalypse Eve!

Apparently, the world is going to end tomorrow. I hope you didn't waste your money on Christmas presents. Or if you did, make sure you celebrate Christmas today and enjoy them as much as you can.

Also, I hope y'all have everything crossed off your bucket lists. If not, the countdown is coming to an end pretty quick. You gotsta get crack-a-lackin'.

I'm so confused by all of these Apocalypse due dates. Does anyone believe that the world is actually going to end tomorrow? Or does anyone KNOW anyone that thinks that? If you do or know someone that does, I would really like to meet them and find out what makes them so sure the Mayans are any better at predicting the world's destruction than, say, the Y2K nutters.

Here's a man of Mayan descent holding a 2013 calendar. Even he is looking at you like you're an idiot.

And besides, what's really so bad about the end of the world? I mean, it's not like we have any control over it, so why worry? Think about it. If the earth is going to implode, are we really going to spend the last few hours of our lives worrying about what we're going to eat tomorrow for dinner? If there are aliens ready to wipe out the inhabitants of this planet to strip it of its resources, do you really think that we're going to go all "Independence Day" on them and get them before they get us? No way! So why all the fuss?

Because of the fact that I have no control over it, and the fact that if it does happen, it'll probably be fast, here's a list of things I think are worse than the Apocalypse:

1. When you drink orange juice right after brushing your teeth.

2. Listening to your car beep at you because your tank is empty, and you still have 3 miles to go and no money.

3. Watching "Transformers" on repeat. Or even just once.

4. Looking at pictures of yourself in Jr. High.
                                                           

  While this isn't a picture of me, I still remember having my sister help me to have the highest bangs possible.

You will never be as cool as this kid.

5. Having 15 people show up at your house, who had been invited expecting a full dinner, and realizing that you didn't know you were supposed to cook anything. (True story. But it wasn't my fault.)

6. Eating a can of garbanzo beans because that's all the food you have left before payday.

7. Taking any Accounting or Financing classes. Those suck the life out of a person, and slowly. I'll take the earth imploding any day.

8. Walking face first into a spider's web- or into the spider itself, hanging from the ceiling.

9. Listening to your roommate's alarm go off for more than half an hour. I am currently doing this and I welcome at least one apocalyptic death: hers.

So Happy Apocalypse Eve, everyone! I hope you find lots of fun and meaningful ways to spend your last day on earth! (Because, ya know, shouldn't we be doing that every single day, anyway?)